The Dangers Of Comparison: Embracing Your Unique Journey To Inner Tranquility

The Struggle of Comparison

NextLevel Coach

20 Oct 2023 • 4 min read

Introduction: The Struggle of Comparison

Plutarch, in his treatise On Tranquility, gives us the lowdown on why comparing ourselves to others is as productive as a chocolate teapot. Essentially, he posits that measuring our worth through the lens of others' successes is not just pointless—it’s a surefire way to plunge into despair. Who hasn't seen their friend's shiny new car on Instagram and felt the urge to cry into their lukewarm coffee? Plutarch humorously suggests that “comparing ourselves to others is like putting a fish in a tree and expecting it to climb.” Instead of seeking external validation—like that dopamine hit from social media likes—Plutarch nudges us toward inner tranquility, reminding us to cultivate our own gardens rather than yearning for the greener grass on the other side. [Source: Plutarch]

Understanding Comparison and Its Pitfalls

Plutarch highlights the agony of constantly measuring our worth against others, affirming that such comparisons lead to profound dissatisfaction: "The greatest obstacle to happiness is the expectation of too much from others." Every time we gaze enviously at a friend’s life, it’s a reminder that our perceptions are often clouded by illusions. Instead of peeking over the fence at our neighbor's purported success, we must learn to appreciate our unique journeys without the distortions that come with comparison. [Source: Psychology Today]

The Nature of Comparison

Plutarch's observations on human behavior suggest that our inclination to compare is ingrained, causing chaos in our lives. Comparing ourselves to others has become a social sport, with platforms like Instagram amplifying our tendencies. This habit is as futile as measuring a potato against a Michelin-starred dish. Instead of anguish, we should aim for self-reflection, recognizing that everyone, including ourselves, has their struggles hidden behind carefully curated social media posts. [Source: Stoic Acceptance]

Common Mistakes in Comparison

One significant mistake in our comparison game is overlooking the imperfections behind polished lives. Plutarch suggests that while we envy our friends' vacations or achievements, we forget the struggles they may hide—that life isn’t just a relentless highlight reel. The moment we shift focus from external markers of success to our self-improvement journey, we free ourselves from the shackles of jealousy. [Source: Stoicism in Modern Life]

Cultivating Gratitude in Our Lives

To combat the tendency of comparison, cultivating gratitude is essential. Plutarch would suggest focusing on our achievements, no matter how small, instead of envying the success of others. Gratitude for our mustard seed-sized victories can transform our mindset from one of inadequacy to one of appreciation. It’s about acknowledging our growth and celebrating our unique journeys, fostering a more tranquil existence. [Source: Overcoming Social Comparison]

The Importance of Gratitude

Gratitude acts as a tool against the negativity comparison breeds. By focusing on the positives in our lives, we teach ourselves that happiness is not solely dictated by external factors but emerges from within. Plutarch’s wisdom indicates that contentment arises from self-acceptance, not from the perceptions of others. Basking in gratitude allows us to shift our attention away from the superficial success of others. [Source: Plutarch on Tranquility]

Practical Steps to Cultivate Gratitude

Practicality in cultivating gratitude can begin with simple actions: maintaining a gratitude journal, practicing mindfulness, or taking time each day to reflect on what we cherish. These steps encourage us to appreciate our journeys, difficulties included, fostering a landscape of self-compassion and celebration of our idiosyncrasies. As we nurture gratitude, we create buffer zones against the urge to compare ourselves unfavorably with others. [Source: How to Practice Stoicism Daily]

Choosing Competitors Wisely

Not all comparisons are detrimental. Learning from others can propel us toward personal growth when we choose our “competitors” wisely—those whose paths can inspire rather than discourage. This means surrounding ourselves with individuals who uplift and support us in our pursuits rather than draining our morale. Plutarch would remind us to seek connections that promote tranquility rather than exacerbate our inner unrest. [Source: Stoicism Today]

The Dangers of Unfair Comparisons

Engaging in unfair comparisons is a slippery slope, often leading to feelings of inadequacy and disappointment. Plutarch’s arguments remind us that every individual has their narrative, filled with complexities and hidden struggles. Relying on superficial indicators as measures of success ultimately leaves us unfulfilled. The more we acknowledge this, the more we can focus on our journeys rather than compete in an ultimately fruitless race. [Source: Staying Calm in Chaos]

Finding the Right Standards

Finding the right standards for comparison is vital. Rather than measuring ourselves against someone else’s highlight reel, we should establish personal benchmarks grounded in our aspirations and values. Plutarch teaches us to appreciate our unique qualities and to understand that true fulfillment comes not from external validations but through nurturing our inner values. [Source: Stoic Philosophy Basics]

The Power of Perspective

A shift in perspective can transform how we view ourselves relative to others. When we embrace the notion that everyone is fighting their own battles, the urge to compare diminishes. Plutarch emphasizes that personal growth and self-acceptance should trump perceptions of success. By focusing on our own experiences, we find peace and develop a more compassionate understanding of ourselves and others. [Source: Stoicism in Modern Life]

Realizing Your Unique Value

Realizing your unique value is critical in a comparison-driven world. Plutarch’s insights encourage us to embrace our quirks and gifts, recognizing that they contribute to our individuality. This process of self-discovery fosters resilience against societal pressures and enhances our overall well-being. Amidst the noise of comparison, your unique flair is a priceless asset—worth more than any external validation. [Source: How to Practice Stoicism Daily]

Using Reflection to Enhance Perspective

Reflection serves as a powerful antidote against unfair comparisons. By taking the time to acknowledge our experiences and emotions, we cultivate a richer understanding of ourselves. Plutarch urges us to not be distracted by the achievements of others but to focus on our own journey and progress, allowing us to grow without falling prey to the comparison trap. [Source: Stoicism Today]

Conclusion: Embrace Your Journey

In the end, Plutarch's wisdom resonates more than ever in today’s comparison-laden world. Embracing our unique paths, filled with imperfections and triumphs alike, cultivates a sense of peace that external comparisons cannot threaten. Happiness flows from understanding our value and celebrating our individuality—thus, always remember to cherish the journey that is uniquely yours. [Source: Staying Calm in Chaos]